Today I wanted to go back in time, reach through my radio and...

punch a podcasting blogger in the face.

I was listening to a podcast from 2009 about un-schooling. Instead of talking about this, the guest went on and on about natural childbirth and visualization methods used in several methods she is certified to teach (Bir.thing from Within and I can't remember the other one, I haven't heard of it before). I was gritting my teeth to get through it so I could hear what I was listening for when she basically said if she hadn't been able to visualize her first birth as a natural birth, she might have had a c-section then she might have had formula fed babies and kids in public school! Apparently that is the worst thing in the world? She enrobed it in the "do what is right for you and your family" bullshit but apparently if her first birth had snowballed into surgery it would have been because she didn't try hard enough, then obviously breastfeeding wouldn't have been successful. Obviously if breastfeeding isn't successful, you didn't try hard enough, and parents who don't try enough send their kids to public school. She condescendingly mentioned that her clients who worry most about surgery/epi/induction end up with those things because that is what they visualized and they didn't want the natural birth badly enough.

Fuck her.

So, because I was a realist, my c-section was my fault. Good to know. I hate people who believe their hard work and "research" are what get them a natural birth. I firmly believe a ton of it is luck. Mich.elle D.uggar has had something like 5 c-sections. I am pretty sure her body was made to birth babies. Some people have easy births, some people have not so easy births, and some people need a little help. No one can "research" themselves into a 4 hour labor and delivery, no matter how much they would like to.

I guess I shouldn't be too angry. The woman had, IIRC, 2 so-so hospital births, a not so great homebirth, and a  great homebirth. The first homebirth was apparently ruined  by her lighting candles and listening to Enya. The great homebirth was because she was true to herself and listened to Meta.llica. Obviously she isn't too bright.

I don't think she ever got to the un.schooling I was listening for.

I think I might be a container hoarder

If this move has taught me anything, it is that I like containers. A bit too much. I use most of what I buy but do I NEED most of the containers? No. I could easily re-use a lot of what I have. I am going to challenge myself to stop buying bins and other containers, only using what I have for now. This will probably be tough...I came home with 4 new bins just the other day. Plus our new fridge is lilliputian compared to our old one so I am going to have to do a lot of labeled/stacked containerizing food. Yay.

The end of bedsharing

I never expected to love bedsharing, but Lila has been in our bed since day 1. I can count on one hand how many times she actually slept in her co-sleeper.

Well we moved on Saturday (2 days before her first birthday) and she is sleeping in her crib now. I thought the trasition would be hard. It was...on me! Somehow she is able to go to bed at 9 and wake up at 5:30-6 no interruptions at all. **I** must have been keeping her up all this time! She would eat a lot at night and this led me to believe that she would be up a lot while in her crib. WRONG! I know it has only been 2 days but she is doing great. I think she would probably sleep longer but I have to wake her up because I leave for work at 7.

So very ready

We are moving on Saturday and holy Oprah I cannot wait to move. I am so ready to be out of here. It is going to cut so much time off of my driving, save gas, etc. Right now it takes me 35 minutes to get to work, about an hour to get home. I go pick up my son from daycare and it is pretty out of the way. Now they will be in the same daycare and the new place is 17 minutes from there. YAY! Their closet has turned out so nicely. It will be so nice to have somewhere to actually hang coats, dresses, and other stuff.

I am also very excited that we will have "nature" out there. We have a perfect bird-watchin' window. We have tons of storage and I will actually have my own little craft/sewing area. I am even taking my husbands desk, which happens to be my mom's old cutting table. I am very excited about this.

It feels like it will never end

I need to finish my Masters degree. It is not something I have ever wanted, ever, but it is something required in my state. I have been enrolled in a summers-only program for the past 5 years. It is a 3 year program. To be fair, I have had 2 kids within that time. One summer I was hugely pregnant and my brain felt like it was misfiring at every turn. Last summer was out because I had a newborn. I have hated every second of the program, even though it is a high-quality school. It has cost me an arm and a leg. My undergrad has been completely paid off for about 3 years now, but I owe about $20k on this, not to mention the semester I paid cash for.

Here is what remains. Mind you, my degree is completely paid off, I just have to finish up these loose ends:

• Write my Philosophy of Music Education
• I took an incomplete in the class where this was required. I have written and re-written it but this has proven to be very difficult. They are big on "music for music's sake" there, but what is someone who is in constant fear of losing their job to do? Am I just supposed to write line upon line about how music is absolutely the most important subject of all time and people who don't think so are just morons?
• Pass a comprehensive exam on early music history
• I just really need to buckle down and study for this. My reading/learning comprehension skills have been very lacking in the past few years. I was recently diagnosed with CAPD, a learning disorder. It explains SO much about my struggles in HS and undergrad. I wish I had known 10 years ago. This test is on the Renaissance through the Baroque.
• Pass a sight singing exam
• Sight singing was my #1 weakness in undergrad. I can do it, and thankfully I have 3 tries. Mercifully they allow singing on "la" instead of requiring numbers or solfege.
• Polish up my portfolio
• Unlike most colleges, I have no thesis requirement. I have to have all of my graduate work bound together and explained in a large book that will be judged by my committee. This part is nearly complete and actually I like how it is turning out.  
• Write and present on a topic relevent to my field.
• This is a 20-30 minute presentation. I have no earthly clue what I want to write about, I have changed my subject about 15 times. Then the committee gets to grill me. I have to study everything I can about psychology of music, learning theories, current big-guns in the field, etc. Even thinking about this gives me hives and makes me kind of teary-eyed.

I just can't put this off anymore. I need it to keep my certification. My difficulty here is that I don't believe in a Masters requirement. I don't feel it is necessary. If we had moved to this state a year earlier, I wouldn't be in this mess. I want so badly to believe in it, but I just don't. Maybe it is because I am so scared. Whatever it is, I have to do it. My advisor isn't the most cooperative of people but he isn't a bad guy, so I know he will try and guide me to where I need to be (if I can get ahold of him!).

First snow day of the year!

Yes, here it is April 23 and we have had our first snow day. Usually we have plenty, but this year we had an unusually mild winter. Jack's school was closed, as was mine, so here are some pictures from our day today! (No, we didn't go out. Jack's snow pants have been packed and are moved to the new place already!)

This was while I still thought we were on a delay...Lila and I were playing with the sensory balls I bought her yesterday at TJMaxx. They are pretty neat, they are the spiky ones in the distance and right behind her. They came 4 to a box and are a hit with both kids so far!

 She looks concerned.

 Jack realized it was snowing. He said "It's Christmastime!".

 I got Jack some Cra.yola Window Crayons yesterday. He LOVES them. They are ridiculously easy to clean up. This was one of many of his artistic endeavors today. He would finish up and then say "clean please". A little club soda and an old prefold cloth diaper, the window was good as new. It came off the paint on the window sill and the kids hands quite easily as well.

I am working on scraping the scrapbook paper/ModPodge off of the dresser in Jack's room. This will go in their shared room in the new place (that I have been calling Green Acres...all we need is a pig!). It is made of metal and came out of a prison (literally...our landlord works at a prison and bought a ton of these dressers when they renovated). It will be lightly sanded, primed, and painted a sunshiny yellow. I will keep the current knobs (you can see them at the bottom). We use it as a changing table. There is a nook in the new bedroom especially sized for this dresser.

 Playing nicely with the Little People House.

 We made these pretzel bites today. When I cut it into 1/8 dough balls, Jack took one for his own. It kept him occupied for a good long time! He mixed it, kneaded it, cut it (with the bench scraper) and even made a few pretzel bites himself! He REALLY enjoyed this. I will definitely make it again, it was tasty and fun.

 Lila waiting patiently for some attention.

 I made a pizza!

Not all was sunshine and rainbows today though. Jack pooped 4 times before noon. He refuses to poop on the potty so that was fun. I was changing Jack and the phone rings. I go get it. I look at Lila who has gotten her diaper off and is now smeared in poop. That was fun too. Thankfully she didn't snack on its contents. It was our old family doctors office letting us know Lila was like, 8 months behind on appointments. Apparently they didn't notice that I transferred all of their records at the beginning of the school year. I brought Lila in for an appt. and they were 45 minutes late seeing me. I was there with both kids. This would have been fine, we really liked our doctor. What made this the straw that broke the camels back was that after the doctor saw us, it took ANOTHER 45 minutes for someone to come in and give her her shots. I was at the end of my everloving rope. I would have loved to tell them this today on the phone had Lila not painted herself. We have been super happy with our new office, they always see us very quickly.

Oh one more sunshiny rainbow: I made rice and split pea soup for lunch today. Jack gobbled it up. YAY Jack! 

I just read probably the saddest blog ever

I was somehow linked to this blog today. I cannot stop thinking about that poor woman and what her husband and son must have gone through. I am having a hard time with this considering we are moving onto a property with a pond within the month. We have a friend whose daughter drowned in a neighbors pool and even thinking about going through what Amy did breaks my heart. Water safety is so important, I need to educate myself on it 110% more. I grew up in Florida where EVERYONE had a backyard pool. They were also fenced in. Here not always. And forget about the natural water sources.

There really isn't a point to this post but to kind of remind myself how important it is.